The One Per Cent (Flash Fiction)

by Melissa Knox-Raab

“Did you see her shoes?”

“You mean the Kathryn Wilson $420,000 diamond shoes or the $50,000 red Christian Louboutin boots?”

“The diamond shoes. For following the Yellow Brick Road. You want those or you want the apartment?”

“Oh, Hon, I don’t know. The pied-a-terre on the Upper West Side or my feet gleaming more than Dorothy’s? It’s a terrible choice. Oh, my God, I’m having a panic attack. Let me call Dr. Steinmetz. Oh, damn, he’s in the Swiss Alps. I could call Susy, my life coach. Can’t I have both? Please? Pretty please with a weekend in East Hampton on top and all your favorite perversions?”

“You’re forgetting the basics.”

“Oh, you mean she’s wearing them? She might not want to take them off her feet and sell them?”

“A plus.”

“God, you’re mean. Then just drive me down to the Kathryn Wilson boutique—there is one, isn’t there? In the fifties somewhere?”

“She’s in New Zealand. I can fly you there, but the apartment may go to the other people—”

“No! No! We need the apartment! We’ll stay there at least once. It’s important. Besides, they have an adorable roof deck and we can drink Courvoisier up there. It would be cute.”

“Yes, cute.” (Yawns.)

“I think I could live with the boots. Actually, they’re the right color, Dorothy-wise. A little kinky. You like that, right? You like kinky. We could do the boots and the apartment together, right? I can wear them on the roof.”

“Maybe, if I throw you off it.”

“Oooh, crazy. Really? And I could hang-glide my way to the Palisades?”

“You want to go to the Palisades?”

“Maybe. For a picnic. Does Dean and Deluca deliver there?”

“For you, yeah.”

“Ooooh, I can’t wait to smell the leather. Hon, you’re the best.”

Author bio: Melissa Knox-Raab taught at the UDE for many years. Her recent writing appears in Areo, Parhelion and on the substack.

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